Mark My Words

Near the end of the 5:00 news today, off-camera, Don Shelby stared me down and said to me, "If you go to the movies and watch "Sex and the City," I will no longer be his hero."

 

Then he rambled on about how he was going to be doing manly things like grilling a 26-ounce porterhouse steak on the grill, while I was sitting in a theatre with a bunch of women who have been drinking Cosmos all day.

 

I tried to explain this odd decision was based on all the great radio and TV material I'll consume by witnessing this bloated 2 hour 20-minute big screen version of the popular HBO show. He wasn't buying it.

 

Suddenly I feel like a pair of brown shoes on a tuxedo. I should mention that I will be attending the movie with 10 women and a few other guys who have been talked into going by their wives.

 

I read that the audience will be 95 percent women. I haven't had odds like that since my 9^th grade typing class.

 

What if I actually like the movie? Do I admit it to anyone or keep it to myself?

 

I'm hoping Indiana Jones will show up in a cameo with that Crystal Skull and Carrie and her friends will vaporize and all that will be left on the screen will be those designer shoes I can't pronounce. Now that would be an ending!

 

In the meantime, I'm going to go out and eat a big juicy steak.

The way I look at it, if Billy Crystal can fulfill his life-long dream by suiting up for the Yankees, I can fulfill mine by appearing in a Coen Brothers movie.

 

I had my audition today for the role of attorney, Don Milgram in the upcoming movie "A Serious Man", which will be filmed here in the Twin Cities this summer.

 

For the past four days, I've been studying my lines, waking up in the middle of the night, rehearsing some more, visualizing the compassion the Coen Brothers want from me in delivering those lines.

 

I showed up at the Martin-Williams Advertising agency around 12:30, carefully sizing up others who were quietly checking me out, and we were likely thinking the same thing. What the heck was I doing here with real actors!

 

True, this movie was going to be filmed in St. Louis Park, where I grew up along with the Oscar winning director/writing Coen Brothers. And being a huge fan, I've noticed they use "real" local people in their other movies.

 

My heart was racing when casting director, Rachel Tenner called my name. I walked into a mostly barren conference room, with only a digital camera, a folding chair and a blank screen behind me.

 

Rachel ran the lines to set me up. I exhaled, and actually remembered my part. It was over in a minute and a half. Rachel said I have a voice like John Goodman (a Coen Brothers regular).

 

She thanked me and I walked out hiding the flop sweat beneath my suit. In the near future, Joel and Ethan Coen will watch that tape and I will either get a call-back or they'll hit the erase button.

 

I can dream on for awhile longer, and cross one more thing off my bucket list. I auditioned for a Coen Brothers movie! Now I want that Billy Crystal moment at home plate.

  Blame it on the Internet. The March Madness office brackets has gone from a few hard core basketball fans filling out some printed sheets with pencils to hundreds of ways and sites to keep even the most casual fan interested in watching the next three weeks.

I think this is the toughest year I've seen in selecting the early round games. But let's do a little research folks, don't pick a team because you like their school colors or the mascot that dresses up.

Here we go. The feel-good team of the tourney is Georgia, which had to win three games in two days after that tornado hit the Atlanta area. Gopher coach Tubby Smith predicted on Rosen's Sports Sunday that Georgia would upset Xavier in their first-round game. I don't see it.

My sleeper team to at least reach the sweet 16 in the West is Drake. They love to shoot three-pointers and will live or die by them. Another upstart team could be Butler in the East. They would match up with Tennessee in the second round, which would be a beauty of a game.

There will be plenty of upsets, but don't rip up your brackets after a few of them. Most everyone will be in the same boat. Here goes my Final Four: North Carolina in the East, UCLA in the West, Pittsburgh in the South (a real upset) and Kansas in the Midwest. When it's all said and done on Monday, April 7, the Kansas Jayhawks will be cutting down the nets in San Antonio. Than again ... good luck.

Author, talk show host and former ball player, Joe Garagiola once said upon entering a clubhouse for the first time, "it's a place where the guys on the bubble gum cards come alive." I felt the same way entering the WCCO Television building on 9th and LaSalle back in 1969 as a high school junior, looking around and seeing the likes of Dave Moore, Bud Kraehling, Hal Scott and Bill Carlson.

I was always in awe of Bill's smooth style on television, hosting a late night Saturday evening entertainment show called, "This Must be the Place." I will never forget how welcoming he was to this kid hanging around where the pro's work.

My father, Joe, knew Bill from all my Dad's years at Paramount Pictures and not one conversation would go by with Bill without asking him about new movies coming out or tidbits about the stars he interviewed.

Bill Carlson was the consummate professional, always respectful of the people who worked with him and the ones he interviewed. As I stare over at his desk, filled to the brim with unopened movie clips, I think to myself, what would Bill think of that new film?

I am so going to miss his answers.

We received some very unsettling news late Monday night. Vikings starting defensive end, Kenechi Udeze has a form of leukemia. Our sources say Kenechi found out last week of his diagnosis with leukemia and he is now hospitalized here in the Twin Cities.

It's not been disclosed how serious a form of leukemia Udeze has. Kenechi, who was the Vikings number one draft choice in 2004, was married last summer and he and his wife have a baby girl who was born late last year. It's always disturbing to hear distressing news like this about anyone this young.

All the more painful when you know what a classy guy Kenechi is. We will update this story as more information is available.