Attention all men on all online dating sites!!!!   Please memorize the following definitions!!!!

   Keep a copy in your pocket... tape it to your forehead… tattoo it to the back of your hand!!!!

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) –

di·vorce /d?'v?rs, -'vo?rs/ Pronunciation Key[di-vawrs, -vohrs] noun, verb -vorced, -vorc·ing.

1. a judicial declaration dissolving a marriage in whole or in part, esp. one that releases the husband and wife from all matrimonial obligations.

sep·a·rate /v. 's?p ??re?t; adj., n. 's?p ?r ?t/ Pronunciation Key - [v. sep-uh-reyt] verb, -rat·ed

9. (of a married pair) to stop living together but without getting a divorce.

        So I finally had drinks with that guy I was so nervous about meeting.  His profile said he was divorced and looking for a serious relationship.   I should have listened to the “flake-meter” on this one!

 After several attempts at making our schedules mesh we finally met.   Great looking guy, a little shorter than me but that’s OK.  He seemed really nice and a little nervous… but so was I. 

 We meet for drinks and were chatting along when suddenly he mentioned he was “separated.”

 Uh.. Excuse me??????

 Seems if you put down "separated" on your online dating profile, you don’t get as many dates as you do by listing “divorced!”  Gee.. I wonder why???!!!!!  

 Bad idea Dude!  If you have to lie and cheat to get your foot in the door on a date.. what the heck else will you lie and cheat about?  Look, I get that relationships are complicated.  And divorces can be a mess.  But at least be honest.  

          Maybe it was my stunned reaction or maybe he just wasn’t into me.  Either way, he didn’t ask for a second date, which saved me from having to hit him over the head with the “You Got To Be Kidding Me” stick!

         Too bad… if he had actually been telling the truth from the beginning... I would have been a little smitten with him.