Fisher's Blog

Good News, Bad News

Fri, 23 May 2008 19:55:02 GMT

Hey my peeps! Happy new year. It's been a busy time for The Fish...so much going on. 2008? Already crazy. I don't even know where to start.

The station has a lot of new people and I've bonded with a couple of them...although I'm pretty sure Dave Mecham is a cat person...Serene Branson won't let me smell her shoes and...I made the mistake of calling out to Christina McLarty and Crista McCarty turned around. So I say, sorry Crista, I thought you were Christina...my bad! And then McCarty goes, hey, it's Melissa not Crista!!! Double, my bad! Hey, I'm just a dog, and I'm not so good with names or faces. So sue me.

Then the new tech guy...Rich DeMuro? I asked him if I could use his blackberry...he says no. Like what's up with that? Meanwhile, I ask Bob McCormick for some money advice....he says he doesn't have time to give dogs financial help since he is on the air so much. Another cat person...I'm sure of it.

Anyway, I digress. I have good news and bad news.

The bad news is that my internship at CBS 2 and KCAL 9 is coming to an end. Not bad considering my internship was only supposed to last a few months. I lasted longer than the German tourist guy...Turbo or Truemanshow or whatever his name was. Okay, I really remember it was Torbin...but he was a cat person. But I digress.

Anyway, wait ... Jim Hilll just walked past my desk. I love me some Jim Hill. He is so nice to me. He's my dawg. No pun intended!

Yeah, so my internship is coming to an end. And I have to tell you....it's been a lot of hard work. Juggling my guide dog training with working in the mail room and accounting and PR and human resources.

And for the record, how come there is no DOG resources at KCAL? I'm just asking. I hate to be snippy, but come on...this is 2008.

It's even hard for me to say leaving KCAL and CBS 2 is "good" news. I mean, I've gotten so attached to the people around here. The food in the cafeteria...tops. You rock Jaime!

I'll miss so many people! Mary Beth McDade....she would brush my hair...she let me brush hers. Sharon Tay...totally sweet. Ann Martin...another one of my faves. Christina McLarty....nice! And Suzie Suh...well, I actually never met Suzie Suh, but I have her picture hanging in my locker. I'm hoping she will sign it before I go.

Go I must. I'm not happy about it. But apparently I've already made some kind of record here at KCAL as an intern. (Unpaid I might add...not that I want to sound bitter. But I put through an expense account once...I'll never do that again!)

I never did get business cards (bummer...chicks love the cards) or a parking space (but that was no biggie, cause Mike always drove.) You know my man Mike...not to be confused with my Dawg Jim Hill.
Mike is the guy who takes me home. And he takes me out to do my business. Before I forget...the CBS 2 lawn?....a finer lawn to pee on you have never seen! Thanks to the gardeners. You guys rock!

Before I forget, you're probably all wondering then what the good news is...well, it's kinda mixed news. I didn't officially get chosen to be a guide dog...sigh. I got bounced for...get this...allergies. I know, a total load of cat dump, but there you have it.

Hey, I'm a little bummed about it...especially after so many exams and tests and ....well, it's like I got to audition for "American Idol" and Simon said I sucked. Speaking of Randy Jackson, he is also my Dawg. We hang out. Paula? A little standoffish ....she claims to be a dog person, but I think not. Ryan? He used to be my dawg... I could tell you stories...but I'm saving it for the book.

Ah, and I'll have a lot of time to write the book, too. Mike will be at work...and I'll be home lounging around (he wonders why his robe has dog hair on the inside...hee hee) and banging out "Confessions of a Dog Intern" (Dell, 2009). You just wait for it. I'm naming names, too. (I got a whole chapter on you Web department!)

All in all, I'll miss everyone (even the Web dept.) but they say I can come back every once in a while and visit...and I'll get to stay home and watch TV (you know how much I love Animal Planet, right?) and yeah, I'll still watch the news on KCAL 9 and CBS 2 every day...I'll especially miss Mia Lee. She was always so nice to me. And Paul Magers...other than that one time he "accidentally" stepped on my tail, we are cool.

Oh, and get this...Mike says on several days I'm going to go to the hospital and visit sick kids and do something called "therapee" which is good, cause I already have the pee thing down...now I just have to learn thera...whatever that is.

Meanwhile, everyone is congratulating Mike on getting to keep me...but they really should congratulate me on getting to keep him. He needs me, you know. You think he comes up with those clever promos all on his own? Yeah right!

Also, and you're hearing the news here first ... Mike is going to bring home another dog soon (better be female, but I digress) and I'm going to help teach my kid sister about how to be a guide dog!

I told Mike...I'll help the kid out on two conditions:
1. She doesn't get to blog
2. She leaves a little present under Dave Malkoff's desk...this one's for you pal! I always hated that he thought he was as cute as me!

My Christmas List

Fri, 23 May 2008 19:54:22 GMT

Dear Santa,

As you already know, I've been a very good boy this year. I'm still in training to become a guide dog for the blind, and I'm getting better every day. I've been playing well with everyone at CBS 2 and KCAL 9 and haven't even stolen a shoe or a sandwich.

So here's what I want for Christmas:

My own show. As the writers are striking and I'm easily the most handsome guy in the duopoly, it only makes sense that the cameras follow me around for a few hours every day. It'll be like "The Puppy Bowl" meets "Hey Paula."
More belly rubs. I can't get enough of those things.
A ride in your sleigh alone with Christina McLarty. She's my favorite girl, and I want to impress her.
Steak.
Balls to chase and chew toys. I know they're against my program, but I made a big sacrifice this year and could use a little compensation.
More time with the Web Department. They're the nicest people in the building and I never get to see enough of them.

I think that's it. I hope you can help me out because, well, I'm still teething and I don't want anything bad to happen to any of your elves.

Love,
Fisher

Why I Hate Bob Barker

Fri, 23 May 2008 19:54:03 GMT

Sorry I haven't written sooner. I've been a bit under the weather. Well, okay, to be totally truthful about it, I went to the vet a week ago...Mike told me for a normal check up, right?
Wrong!

Let's just say I came out missing something...two things really. Uh huh. Mike has apparently been caught up in that whole Bob-Barker-Spay-And-Neuter-Your-Pet thing...to be honest, all this time, I didn't even know what spay or neuter was!!! Call me naive. But...the way Barker said it, I thought it was like camp or something. Yowsa! I know now. It's not camp.

Did anyone ask ME how I felt about going under the knife? Nope. One minute I'm minding my own business, and licking my own business...and the next thing I know, the nurse taps me on the head and says "Awww. How are you feeling Fisher?"

How do you think I feel!? Hello! I feel like someone shoved a hot poker into me and gutted me like a salmon. The name is Fish, but it's just a nickname, people!
Let me put it this way... Nursie, how would you like to go to sleep and wake up with a couple of pieces missing!? Mike...between us, I have some trust issues with you at the moment buddy!

It's been a week, and I suppose I'm getting the hang (poor choice of words, I know!) of ...well, uh, walking around not looking like my old self. My girlfriend Annie says she loves me just the way I am, but the whole time she is telling me this ... she is watching the news and wants to know if Paul Magers is single.
And, get this....Mike insists on watching "The Price is Right" during work hours...kinda sadistic if you ask me.

I want to watch "The View"....but noooooooooooo. Mike is such a company guy. All he says is, "But 'Price is Right' is CBS...and we work for CBS." (Every time I see that Barker though....ugh. You'd think a guy named Bark-er might be a little more dog friendly. I don't know. He has to be a cat person.)

Glad he retired. I swear if I ran into him in the hallways at CBS, I'm not sure what I would do. I know I would give him a piece of my mind. Why not...cause of him, I'm missing two other things!

So ... no puppies for me. Don't feel bad for me. Nope. Not at all. Mike says I should be okay with this. Instead of spending my days and nights at a stud farm where I would breed with some hot babe labs, and hang out all day, and ....breed some more, eat dinner and breed some more....and then get a snack, and, okay, breed some more.....he says I would have gotten completely bored with that. Uh huh. Yeah, sounds awful.

So, now I will get to spend a lot more time with Mike and the fine folks at CBS 2 and KCAL 9.

Mike says I'm "right on target" to be a guide dog...then again, the last thing he told me was that I was also going to the vet for a regular check up.

I went on line today to try to find out stuff about Drew Carey...the new host of "Price is Right." No word if Drew is a pet person, but, Drew...I already like you a lot more than Barker!

I'm The Man - Er, Dog - At CBS 2/KCAL 9

Fri, 23 May 2008 19:53:20 GMT

Most people would love to work at a TV Station like I do, since I get to see people who are on TV every night - like Paul Magers, Pat Harvey or Johnny Mountain. Oh, no. For me, its the other way around - those folks are more excited to see me.

For example: When I do my daily walk-through the newsroom - people squeal! People run over to talk to me and rub my head. I don't think I've made anyone faint yet, but I think someone already asked Mike for my autograph. At least one of my newsroom fans has learned my secret though - Nancy, here? She keeps treats for me in a drawer. Oh yeah. That's star treatment.

A lot of people expect dogs to come over and give them kisses. Oh, no. Everyone wants to give me kisses. And everyone loves to help me scratch. Like, Entertainment Reporter Christina McLarty here - she likes to make sure she can give me a paw or nose massage at least once a day. Sh, don't tell, but I think she likes me. I don't have the heart to tell her I like girls with four legs.

Yeah, I'm a star, even in a newsroom full of celebrities. I think I may be ready for cameo in a Hollywood blockbuster. But what else could you expect for such a young, handsome face?

Sorry, I Have Been Busy!

Fri, 23 May 2008 19:52:47 GMT

I was reading my fan mail the other day...or should I say Mike was reading my fan mail to me (I still don't read so good yet...which is kinda hampering my anchor goals...but I digress) and many of you expressed concern that I haven't been writing.

I'm very sorry but to be very frank, the fine folks of KCAL 9 and CBS 2 have me so busy and hopping that I have had barely enough time to eat, sleep and poop. Although management hates when I poop in the building. Kidding. I have never done that. There is one male anchor on the other hand...well, I aint saying names...but this guy is always in the bathroom!

To catch you up on the latest...I've been growing a lot. I started at the station a few months back and I weighed like one of Paris Hilton's lunches....I was a mere pup. Now, well, I'm approaching man, uh, doghood and I'm almost 60 pounds. Mike can't pick me up anymore which is kinda sad cause I like getting picked up. Well, I better say "carried." Picked up makes me sound like some kind of romantic player....and I'm no dog. Well, I'm a dog...but not that kind of dog. You feel me?

Besides being so busy (the mail never stops! And to Steve in Orange County...no, Mia Lee will NOT go out with you, so stop asking) I've been meeting all the new people. Kaj Goldberg the new weather guy...very cool...but the second I met him I knew....cat person. Next!

So, I've been hanging with Christina McLarty the new entertainment reporter. I might like her as much as Suzanne Rico and Ann Martin. And that's saying something...cause, well, you know Fisher likes the ladies, and the ladies like Fisher. Although, well, that makes me sound like a bit of a hound dog. But I'm being professional here, people.

Anyway, back to Christina. I hope she spells it with a C. Maybe it's a K. But I think it's a C. I told Mike to leave the TV on when her reports are on, but she works nightside and sometimes her stuff comes on when I'm supposed to be in bed. Hey, look at me...going on like this. I don't write for months. Now you can't shut me up. Anyway, back to Christina...sigh. So nice. I asked her if I could go to the Oscars with her ...and I couldn't which was a total bummer. But...how is this for a pal....she snuck into the Governor's Ball and grabbed some beef for me. She put some carrots down for me too...but I just pretended to eat those! I spit them out when she wasn't looking! Sorry Christina!

Anyway, did I mention how nice she is. We talk all the time about movies and stuff....I knew when she said her favorite movie of all time was "Benji" that we would be bff...maybe cause I'm like totally pals with Christina I'm not blogging as much as I should. But hey, Christina is a lot cuter than my work station!

Best In Show

Fri, 23 May 2008 19:52:14 GMT

Have you seen this movie? Cause I lived it two weeks ago. OK, so not me per se, but rather Mike and I were in the audience at the Eukanuba dog show. I guess there were other dogs there but I was mesmerized by the Goldens! My peeps were fabulous! And at one point, I got to play with about three of them. We rolled around, barked and had fun, fun, fun! Someone asked me why I wasn't in the show but I didn't think it was fair since I'm already a star. My dawgs asked me to root for them but I was so over it by then. Mike said I was well behaved but maybe that was cause I was so tired. Playing 'ruff' can wear a puppy out.

The Big Man

Fri, 23 May 2008 19:51:57 GMT

I got my picture taken with the Big Man…Santa Claus! I was so excited, I almost licked his beard off. Though I'm not sure how that can happen, but he quickly grabbed it and I swear I saw it move. Weird.

Not only did I get my picture taken with Santa, but I think because I'm an intern here at the station, I was allowed a second picture! Here I am on the floor to the right, sitting next to my brother Fiefel while my hot girlfriend Elke sits on the Big Man's lap. I still can't believe he took time out of his hectic schedule (cause he must be really busy getting ready for his night of flying!) to come pose in a picture with us. Ah, the perks of being a huge star…

Meet Annie, My Mentor!

Fri, 23 May 2008 19:51:10 GMT

I had the most amazing experience a couple of weeks ago. I met an old timer named Annie! I knew I still had so much to learn about being a guide dog, but after meeting Annie… wow! Annie was with her human, Leta, for eight years, until Leta passed away a few years ago. Annie said she and Leta went everywhere together. They took daily walks alone, to the store, to church and tons of other places. Annie went with Leta to the Braille Institute every week. They also traveled together to places like Eugene and Oklahoma City. Annie was proud that Leta took her places and felt independent thanks to Annie. I can't wait til I can help someone like that. In the meantime, I'll just continue to love on Mike, Mary and the rest of the gang here at the station.

Happy Halloween

Fri, 23 May 2008 19:50:39 GMT

Do you like my costume? Mike gave it to me special for Halloween and I got to wear it to our CBS 2/KCAL 9 Halloween blowout in the courtyard.

Don't tell Mike that I begged for food. Shhh! He doesn't like it when I do that.

But I can't help it. I'm cute and people wuv me! And I'm hungry.

I mean, I'm a growing boy puppy. Will be cute for food.

Thank goodness these sweet people can't resist me.

Time Flies At The Puppy Wood Pile

Fri, 23 May 2008 19:50:16 GMT

Sorry I haven't been blogging more often, but I have a life. It's hard to make myself sit at the computer and type these bad boys out. Not only that, but my paws are growing and that's making it harder to place them on the keyboard. But I know you, my adoring public, wanted to know what I'm up to and looking like, so I thought I'd post these new pictures.

They weren't taken by a good camera though, so you'll have to make do with these cell phone gems. I walk through the halls here and I feel like I'm Madonna or something as everyone holds their cell phones up and start snapping away. Sheesh! What happened to privacy? Can't a guy take a nap without it being documented?

Then again, who am I kidding? Can I really blame them? I am darn.